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Month: June 2016

Do you ever feel invisible?

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Or have a huge anger-fuelled dislike at a person who is manipulative, sarcastic or dishonest and gets away with it?

Do you sometimes feel like people ignore you and speak to everyone else when you are in a group?

Or overlook what you say?

Or worse interrupt you and just dismiss your comments and then carry on with their viewpoints?

Or perhaps even criticise what you believe in?

Even though I do public speaking, teaching, active social media and love nurturing communities, from time to time I will experience all of the above.

Masters of Flip
Of all the hundreds of people in my world, there are only a few who piss me off or annoy me because they are habitually manipulative,
narcissistic, dismissive or sarcastic. They make me angry because of all that they have arrogantly done to cause pain and dishonesty to me and others. Or just send an unnecessary sarcastic barb or two my way in a rather sick sense of humour. I’ve started to apply a new technique to this one.

I don’t know if you watch the show Masters of Flip (click on the link to see the show) or some of the other flip shows that are on 9Life here in Australia. But what they do is take a run-down house and flip it by re-modelling it into something fantastic.

Flip it from very bad-and many others think it is beyond repair-to turning it into a masterpiece of a house.

If I’m in a situation where I feel invisible, dismissed or just pissed off at one of the people I described above, I’ve started a new thing that I call flip it.

Flipping it at the mall–after my negative approach

Here’s how it works. Earlier in the week I walked past one of the few who pisses me off as I was walking through the shopping mall. The person was talking to other people, so it was easy for me to walk by and ignore her instead of saying hi and congratulating her on having their second child.

My mind immediately started playing the negative tape of ‘I can’t believe she and her partner regularly get away with so much lack of integrity.’ ‘And I pity those kids being raised in that house.’ and on and on.

And then I stopped and thought ‘Who owns that situation? It belongs to them. I do not need to take on that energy or play negative tapes in my head.’

And as I walked past her in the mall and continued on to the coffee shop, I thought flip it.

And I did.

In my head I thought ‘No need to be negative, or unfriendly or ignoring them’. Just be friendly send out the Universal love to that person and have a civil positive conversation and move on.’ I don’t need offer to have lunch or coffee with them.

When I get the sarcastic barb from another friend, I just flip it and in my head send the energy back to them. They own it, I don’t.

Flip it and change your internal energy

As I flip the internal energy to dissolve the negative thoughts and emotions I just express love and kindness in my heart to everyone. I don’t have to like what they do, or be angry at their lack of integrity, manipulation or sarcasm.

I just have to have a positive internal energy that says ‘not my circus not my monkey’ so I won’t invest emotions or opinions in their questionable behaviour and values. I will focus on positive energy and be friendly and civil and then move on.

Remember having a negative response, attitude or action is only the first response, it is what you do after that makes a difference.

Hang on to the negativity and you just attract more negativity to you.

Realise that you should flip it and you’ll find a new perspective and the next time you come across that person or situation you will respond with theflip (positive internal energy) instead of the negative energy.

What amazed me was when I did the flip I suddenly felt like I was walking on air right there in the mall. There was an increased internal excitement and energised view of life. I had a new sense of appreciation for everything I took in.

I know some of it was psychological clearing space. You clear space in your mind and make room for the good stuff. Clearing the negative energy inside invites in more positive emotions and energy. 

And what followed the rest of the week-which I believe is due to clearing the internal negative space is I’ve had four catch ups with friends-some I haven’t caught up with in awhile- that have been amazing, vibration raising and leading to some exciting things.

Flip regrets

As I’ve replayed a few recent-some of them major- regrets of feeling excluded or invisible, I’ve realised  if I had done the Master of Flip and changed myinternal perception and reached out to the person or people it probably would have turned things around-because after all, it is all energy and what we put out we attract.

Flipping it will not always lead to a positive interaction with the person or the situation but it will raise your mindset to a positive one and keep you from lapsing into feeling like a victim and instead be assured you did the best you could.

The get noticed program will help you flip even more

I have coached many people who have shared similar experiences and all of them in one way or another want to be valued, acknowledged and get noticed in an authentic, integrity driven way. It’s part resilience, part mindset, part being yourself and part skills development around influence and appreciation marketing.

In mid July I will be launching a signature program called Get Noticed for the Right Reasons in the Right Way by the Right People. It won’t ‘be a look at me, look at me’ program, it will be a wholistic program around all the above topics.

Have fun being a master of flip and notice the good things that happen!

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Encourage and support others

Get noticed tip #2

I’ve started a series of graphics called ‘Get Noticed Tips’. There will be one a day for 30 days.
I am developing a signature on-line and face to face program called Get Noticed for the Right Reasons in the Right Way by the Right People.

This is not a ‘look at me look at me’ hype type initiative. It is to help all of us find the best ways to get noticed personally for who we really are. Appreciated for who we are. Find the right clients and have business and career success. And fully confident just to be ourselves even though some people won’t like it. Which starts with us being true to ourselves. 

Get noticed in your business or career in an authentic way to be known for your skills, services and products that can help the right people. If they don’t know your skills or what you do in your business, then you will miss some opportunities. ( I have coached executives, managers, students and general staff about these issues.) And we all know people who are pushy and just turn us off from their services and we are so afraid to be like them that many of us just stay in the background. Time to get noticed!

Know who the right people are for you to connect with. People who tear you down or try to compete with you if you are doing similar work or have a similar business are not going to succeed for very long and you walk away from them. Celebrate the successes of others in your same field, business or job, even if you are still at the beginning or not as successful as they are and you will build strong, supportive relationships. Be real, be supportive and encouraging and you’ll go a lot further.

And then there are the skills we need to develop. Networking, promoting/marketing in an authentic way, understand our influence abilities and how to use the influence model, resilience when people are critical and competitive, and many more topics. So each tip will give you a daily taste of what you can do to get noticed in a good way and find the right people, right clients, right career opportunities and right work-life balance and family and friends time.

I’ve taught and coached aspects of this for many years and am so excited about putting it all together to help you. And there will be some awesome guest speakers! Starts mid July when the new financial year begins. Fresh start. Clean slate and woo hoo what a way to start the year!

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