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Category: Fearless Living

Are you playing small when you should be stepping out?

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What do you really desire?

What makes you feel good?

Fulfilled?

So in alignment with your skills and things you love?

Even if you work in an organisation or have a business that is not fully what you love, what are some of the things about it you do like?

As an evidence based coach, speaker, podcaster, Uni lecturer and writer, I never dismissed what made me feel fulfilled, fun and enjoyable-and always pursued those. All of those things I do are things I LOVE and that light me up. And of course there are always challenges even in those situations. But there is a deeper sense of I so enjoy doing this that I will work out how to resolve the difficult situation and will not focus on it-and some of the difficult situations are stressful and exhausting. I just push through.

So what is it you love to do?

How can you at least get some of that into your life?

Even if it is just an hour a week. You’ll find that by doing that it brings a different perspective to many other things in your life, even those that at the moment aren’t ideal, but for the time being have to be there.

Make the most of every minute there. Be present. Appreciate everything about it. And be grateful.

You don’t have to do what you love every hour of every day.

Or even every day!

Just get a bit of it into your life and you will see how much it positively impacts the rest of your life.

Small steps-big outcomes

Once I saw a woman who was a single mother of 2 or 3 children interviewed on TV. She had a passion to write poetry. But working full time while also managing the family on her own left her with the view that there was no time for poetry. Her coach asked her if she could just find one hour a week to write. She said yes, she probably could. She found that hour and what happened was the fulfilment of that hour led to her finding more hours and soon she was reading her poetry at the local library with lots of great feedback.

Go for it!

And you’ll probably find some big surprises of people who support you, help you and give you further ideas! Enjoy!

Some other relevant blog posts you might find interesting:

When do you walk away?

Suck the marrow out of every moment

What if money was no object?

 

 

 

 

 

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Do what you love

Have you outgrown something that you keep hanging on to?

Sometimes we just do it out of habit.

Other times we feel like we must keep persevering. In our heart of hearts we no longer have the desire to be part of it.

It seems safer to just stay in the comfort zone. Rather than have the courage to leave something behind – move to new territory. Spare the potential conflict.  Just stay in ‘vanilla land’ well beyond the use by date. And we all know that is the kiss of death or at least mediocrity.

I’m not suggesting that the minute you find something or someone frustrating or stressful that you move on. But you know when it is time.

If you find consistently something is no longer working. A product or service you have been offering seems to no longer the right thing.  And you’ve lost your passion for it. Or a group you are part of is no longer serving you. Or a negative person who takes takes takes and rarely encourages or supports you. Look at those things and do things differently.

A process on the path that usually is preparing you for the next step.  When you let go, this creates space. And suddenly other more aligned people. Groups and opportunities come your way.

Some will be ones that will tell you not to do it. Just keep going along the regular path. Often those people are just jealous of the fact you have the guts to move forward.

I’ve gone through many changes. Have had to let go of some things and some people, to be open to new opportunities. That crossed my path that at first seemed odd, now seem so well aligned. What about you?

Be brave. Be yourself. And take all of you out into the world!

 

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Ignore the nudge from within and you may miss out!


Ever regret not listening to your gut?

You have a passing thought of an idea or action you could take.

Or you hear yourself say, ‘Someone should create a product or service that fills this gap.’ And then wonder if you could be that someone.

And there you stand at the crossroad.

One voice says ‘Give it a go, you’ll never know unless you try.’

And then the other voice interrupts the first voice with:

Are you kidding?

You really need to think that through.

Get more training.

It’s gotta be perfect before you’d release it to the world.

It could take months or years to get it right.

Well, in recent times, I’ve recognised that second voice as my subconscious trying to keep me safe by playing small and sticking to what I’ve always done or known to be a sure thing.

And it feeds nicely into three bad habits of mine:

All or nothing thinking-it’s got to be fully planned and perfect before I put it out there. Make one mistake and scrap the whole thing and start over. Similar to eating one chocolate chip cookie and then finishing the whole pack because I felt I blew my eating plan by that one cookie so I may as well write off the rest of the day. Flawed logic and self sabotage rolled into one!

Fear-oh this has so many faces. What if I fail? What will people think? Will people disapprove? Live a vanilla life and you dodge those fears and are destined to mediocrity. Seize the moment and you’ll find most fears were unfounded and the fears that weren’t are well outstripped by the passion and excitement of taking the next step. The naysayers will drop off and create room for new raving fans.

Overthinking– this is a combination of the other two. Thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Or thinking about every finite detail that would have to be worked out before you proceed. Both mindsets are a fast track to doing nothing. Sometimes followed by that painful regret of watching someone else who had the courage to act on the very idea you had enjoy great success and support as they followed it through.

That small voice, spark or nudge is often what we refer to as our intuition or inner guidance. In our professional lives, we’re often trained not to trust our gut or refer to intuition. Yet, in many cases following through on that spark of an idea can lead to your next success breakthrough. Recent research found that when senior managers were asked what factors went into some of the major decisions they made, they listed all the usual criteria and many added at the end ‘oh and also a bit of a sixth sense.’

I’m now acting on it and wow have things changed

I have now developed the habit of acting as soon as I get that spark or gut instinct of an idea. Here’s an example of one of the many things I’ve recently followed through on when the nudge of an idea came to me–and the results have been amazing:

Four months ago, I had the tiny spark of an idea to host monthly Law of Attraction Coffee meet ups to create an opportunity for people to come and share their abundance journeys and ask questions. In the past I would have over-thought it. Those coffee meet ups would still be on my list of possible events as I obsessed over every detail that I’d have to get perfect before proceeding while ruminating over every possible problem that could occur. But this time, I acted on the nudge the week the idea came to me. I announced the meet ups and established a schedule until the end of the year. These gatherings have been fabulous with different combinations of awesome people coming each time. I leave each coffee inspired, encouraged and so thrilled to have found so many like-minded people to exchange ideas with. On September 17th, I will host my fourth LOA Coffee meet up! And some interstate people have asked me if I’d consider taking them ‘on the road’.

The Institute of Heart Math regularly reports on ground breaking research about the mind-body-brain-heart connection. Click on the link to Read their recent article 5 Ways to hone your intuition and sixth sense.

Act on those sparks in the next few weeks!

For the next two weeks pay attention to the nudges, the small whispers of ideas and the brief sparks that come to mind. Write them down and start taking small steps toward acting on the ones that resonate most with you.

Don’t fall into my three mindset traps!

Put yourself out there.

Ask for help.

Be open to a change of direction and be glad you got out there on the court to play the game-even if you are ‘coached’ to change your game plan.

The divine source that some call the Universe and others refer to as God can not steer a harboured ship. Leave the dock (take action) and continue to listen to and act on the guidance from that inner guidance.

And be prepared for some pleasant surprises!

 

 

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The real you-who helps you show it to the world?

 

‘We are so much more than our successes and what others say about us. Where does your self worth come from?’ Darren Rowse Pro Blogger Event 2013

Are you living in a way that is true to you?

Or are you chained to the opinions of others which translate in to self doubts like:

  • what if people think I’m weird if I show my quirky sense of humour?
  • what if I post something on my blog, website or Facebook page and people hate it?
  • what if I stop giving time to people I no longer connect with or who I regularly encourage and celebrate with who are virtually mute when I have a ‘win’.
  • what if I lose support from clients or friends when I re-brand or work in my job in a more true to me way?
  • what if I’m an introvert who refuels in solitude and has decided to stop saying yes to social events that wear me out? Will people think I’m anti social?

And the list could go on.

I can relate to many points on that list. I’ve freed myself from most of them over the past year-thanks to a group of friends who really get me, believe in my skills, push and encourage me to be my best, live my truth and cheerlead for me as much as I do for them.

Been a long time coming, but when you find that type of community, bonds form quickly and it changes your life. Last night two of those friends said to me ‘Linda you even look different than you did when we first met you in February as you have become more true to yourself and purpose. We are so excited for you.’

We reflected on how our close knit group has helped us all move forward in ways that many of us have tried to for years.

We all are helping each other find our own voice and express it to the world-while having truckloads of fun-and success- doing it.

And it goes beyond the good times. Today one of our members shared with us a situation that was both terrifying and unjust. We all (even those of us interstate at a conference) rallied to her support and you could feel the energy of love and support through the posts in Facebook. Genuine community is such a treasure.

If you aren’t being true to yourself, what’s holding you back?

Are you surrounded by a community that encourages you to be the real you or are you in situations where you feel you have to wear a mask to be accepted? Authenticity takes courage. And support.

Who is (or can) encourage you in your journey to greater authenticity and living your true purpose?  

As I have said to groups for years: you have a unique set of skills, experiences, viewpoints and passions that only you can give to the world. Let it out! The world needs the real you and what you uniquely can offer it! 

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Arguing on behalf of your weaknesses

You’re invited to do something a bit beyond your comfort zone. Run a workshop. Speak at a networking event. Apply for a promotional role. Write a guest post on a blog. Play the piano at your nieces’s graduation. Or whatever it is that both terrifies and excites you at the same time.

What’s your first response to the invitation?

Has it ever been something like this? ‘Are you joking? Me? I’d never be good enough for that. I’d totally blow it and be an embarrasment to all of us.’

And then have you ever continued arguing on behalf of your weaknesses with a monologue of all the reasons why you’d be such a bad choice for the task?

You may not have confidence in your ability to do whatever has been suggested, but the person who proposed it, obviously saw some potential in you. Argue on behalf of your weaknesses long enough and others will see you only through your weaknesses and not the strengths that led them to extend the invitation in the first place.

People who regularly respond with attention-seeking false humility,  victim-mode  or ‘fishing for compliments’ critiques of themselves often find opportunities diminishing. They send out draining energy that screams ‘make me feel good about myself, tell me I’m good, I need to be propped up.’ They become known for being high maintenance, loaded with baggage and time wasters. Few people will stick around to be their baggage handlers!

Alternatively, responding with phrases like: ‘It sounds great. Been dying for that opportunity. I haven’t had a lot of experience in that area so my confidence is a bit shaky. What do you think I’d be able to bring to the job/gig/role etc.?’  express enthusiasm, interest and a confident, honest concern about your abilities. A vibe that says ‘I’d like to discuss this and see if there are ways I can fill the gaps-and I’ll take responsibility for them.’

The next time you’re approached about doing something beyond your comfort zone that terrifies and excites you at the same time- consider the following before letting those seeds of doubt take root:

  • Think first about the unique strengths and skills you can bring to the situation.
  • Ask yourself if part of your lack of confidence comes from fear of failure.
  • If you do ‘fail’ what is the worst that can happen? (hint: usually never as bad as we fear)
  • Honestly asses your perceived ability gaps. Are they critical to the success of the role?
  • Are you being too much of a perfectionist or are your concerns legitimate?

It’s not easy to find that elusive balance between humility, confidence and an honest assessment of your abilities. It takes practice and a bit of trial and error. Once you’ve mastered the art of doing this in a way that is true to you and your personality, you’ll find it comes naturally.

‘Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.’ Neale Donald Walsh

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Waiting for the invitation that will never come?

adorable-15949_640You’re in a meeting. You know for the sake of your profile and reputation, you should make a contribution – you know, actually say something.

Problem is, no one stops long enough for you to get a word in. You may be like me, a cut to the chase person. Frustration grows as people keep repeating the same point -some probably just to hear their own voices. You continue in your silence vowing not to add to the time-wasting digression.

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When a season ends

Ending a season

“Making a big life change is scary. But you know what is scarier? Regret.” Unknown

Many will know how much I love Doha, Qatar. Leading up to this year’s trip, I had a feeling this would be my last year working on the project that has taken me to the Gulf for the past three years. There were many indicators that this season was coming to an end.

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Myth of ‘ideal life’

Nobody has the ideal life

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” Lena Horne

 

Angie was one of those people who usually had a smile, saw the positive in even the darkest of work situations and rarely complained or gossiped. She was not a pushover. Well aware of the things that were dysfunctional and toxic in her organisation she used her authority as a senior manager to take constructive action.

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