Skip to content

Category: Results that rock

Are you playing small when you should be stepping out?

IMG_1002

 

What do you really desire?

What makes you feel good?

Fulfilled?

So in alignment with your skills and things you love?

Even if you work in an organisation or have a business that is not fully what you love, what are some of the things about it you do like?

As an evidence based coach, speaker, podcaster, Uni lecturer and writer, I never dismissed what made me feel fulfilled, fun and enjoyable-and always pursued those. All of those things I do are things I LOVE and that light me up. And of course there are always challenges even in those situations. But there is a deeper sense of I so enjoy doing this that I will work out how to resolve the difficult situation and will not focus on it-and some of the difficult situations are stressful and exhausting. I just push through.

So what is it you love to do?

How can you at least get some of that into your life?

Even if it is just an hour a week. You’ll find that by doing that it brings a different perspective to many other things in your life, even those that at the moment aren’t ideal, but for the time being have to be there.

Make the most of every minute there. Be present. Appreciate everything about it. And be grateful.

You don’t have to do what you love every hour of every day.

Or even every day!

Just get a bit of it into your life and you will see how much it positively impacts the rest of your life.

Small steps-big outcomes

Once I saw a woman who was a single mother of 2 or 3 children interviewed on TV. She had a passion to write poetry. But working full time while also managing the family on her own left her with the view that there was no time for poetry. Her coach asked her if she could just find one hour a week to write. She said yes, she probably could. She found that hour and what happened was the fulfilment of that hour led to her finding more hours and soon she was reading her poetry at the local library with lots of great feedback.

Go for it!

And you’ll probably find some big surprises of people who support you, help you and give you further ideas! Enjoy!

Some other relevant blog posts you might find interesting:

When do you walk away?

Suck the marrow out of every moment

What if money was no object?

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

4 words to help you keep your New Year’s resolutions

iStock_000007759982XSmallIt’s mid February already! How are your new year’s resolutions (or whatever you call them) going? For many of us this is the time of year when motivation starts to fade. Sometimes we just slip back in to old ways. We interpret setbacks as failures rather than opportunities for continuous improvement.

What happened to the fire that burned in our belly as the calendar ticked over to January 1st?

If this sounds familiar, consider this: think of what you’ve focussed on. Is it what you are giving up? What you are depriving yourself of? What you are sacrificing? Or is it the anticipation of the feeling of achieving your goal?

Psychologists tell us when we focus on what we leave behind with little thought of what we are moving to, it is easy to be overwhelmed by a feeling of deprivation.

We give ourselves inner motivation to keep going if we imagine how it will feel when progress toward our goal opens new doors, ushers in improved health, higher self-esteem, an improved reputation or whatever it is we are aiming for.

As temptation knocks on your door-or leans on your doorbell!- beckoning you to give up or give in, before you answer the door and invite temptation in, ask yourself will this serve me?

It may be the temptation to skip exercise or eat food that will set your progress back, or say ‘yes’ to people and commitments that you know are energy drainers you are not called to accommodate. Whatever it is, instead of ‘shoulding’ all over yourself, ask does this serve me? and you’ve changed the decision from a deprivation or guilt inducing decision to a decision and choice of self care.

And remember a little indulgence here and there is good for the soul! Enjoy it and then get back to those new habits that serve you.

1 Comment

Craving significance

Research regularly tells us people leave work-and probably many relationships- because they don’t feel valued. They crave significance. The assurance that they matter. The knowledge that what they bring to work, relationships and the world in general is appreciated.

I’m surprised at the number of people whose friendly natures hide a deep craving to feel valued. (Actually isn’t that all of us at one time or another?) Sometimes it’s at work. Sometimes it’s in social settings. Sometimes it’s at Uni or even at home. While I believe Eleanor Roosevelt’s view of ‘People can’t make us feel bad unless we let them.’, I think there are some people who need help out of the vortex of low self opinion. These aren’t people who want their name in lights or to become international superstars. They just want to feel like they matter to those they work and associate with. It doesn’t take much.

During my second trip to Doha, I spent a lot of time in my hotel room, crunching the numbers from the survey I conducted for one of the large multinationals at Ras Laffan. I was often in my room when Ben came to clean it. Through our conversations I learned he was away from his pregnant wife and twin baby boys because in his home country he could not get work. His low paying housekeeping job in Doha was better than unemployment back home. As he got to know me, he shared experiences that described a very unreasonable supervisor who expected him to work long hours with no over time pay and regularly yelled at staff for no apparent reason. I always asked about his family and enjoyed the updated baby photos that arrived weekly.

The day I left Doha, Ben arrived at work early to say good bye to me and ask if we could stay in touch. As we exchanged contact details, he told me ‘In all the months I’ve worked here, you’re the first guest who treated me like a real person. No one ever has a conversation with me or asks me about my family or my life. You made me very happy and I’ll always remember it.’

Simple conversation. A genuine interest and listening ear helped one person feel a bit more significant. That was over five years ago and we are still in contact and hope some day to have a catch up when I return to Doha where I can meet the rest of his family, who are now with him.

One small act of genuine encouragement can go a long way to contribute to a person’s sense of significance. Behind many smiles are people aching for acceptance, encouragement and just a small sign they are valued and appreciated.

Who can you encourage this week? Or include in a conversation when they are shy and quiet in a group? Or extend a ‘thank you’ to for something they’ve done for you?

You never know what it might do to make their day their week or even their month! And it will probably make your day as well.

 

2 Comments

Three filters for your words

This month, I’ve heard two speakers talk about the three questions to ask before we open our mouths to tell someone ‘the truth’. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? I call them the three filters to put our words through before we speak them.

Certainly the three filters are important when speaking directly to a person, sending an email, SMS or other correspondence.

Leave a Comment

Craft. Character. Community: outdated or in need of revival?

A power packed combination that can transform people and organisations. Are craft, character, and community outdated concepts or is it time for us to focus on them more?

Last week it seemed everywhere I turned, there was an email, Facebook post or tweet about ‘how to increase blog traffic’ or ‘how to grow your on- line audience’ or ‘how to develop your on line profile’.

Leave a Comment

Power of 1%

1

 

1%- The little number with a big impact.
Big things are achieved in small incremental steps. What are the “one percenters” that can help move you from where you are to where you want to be in the next 12 months?
When Total Quality Management was popular, I read somewhere that it is better to change 100 things by 1% than try to change one thing by 100%. This immediately resonated with me. The long string of failed fitness programs came first to mind, followed by a range of professional goals that often started with great-but unsustainble and unrealistic -momentum only to be crowded out by the daily grind.

As I put this into practice, I found that the one percenters are easy to incorporate.  So easy in fact that you wonder if they are really helping you move toward your goal. But get that one percent action embedded into your life and go on to the next one percent and soon you find they’ll start merging and a significant goal or milestone is reached sometimes almost by surprise. I don’t aim for 100 things, I’ll aim for 5 or 6.

This is the time of year when many people aim to either stop, start or continue some things as they start a new year. It could be something you’d like to see move forward personally or perhaps in your team or your organisation. As you think about what success would look like, ask yourself ‘what would progress would look like?’ Then ask what 1% progress would look like. It is slower, but likely to be more permanent. Celebrate the 1% progress milestones. Certainly in some teams and organisations there has to be relentless pursuit of an immediate huge change to avert a crisis or achieve a mission critical goal. But for the actions that aren’t in that category, don’t dismiss the one percenters. Celebrate the progress and help others to aim for big things one incremental step at time.

I regularly find in coaching sessions, when we get to the follow up actions and we talk about what a 1% step forward would be, the response often is ‘But that is so easy, I know I can do that’. And that is the point. You can do it. You may already be doing it–sporadically. Now is the time to intentionally embed it into your life as an almost reflex response.

Remember that famous question: how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

And remember..setbacks and relapses are normal. Try not to view them as ‘failures’ but as opportunities for continuous improvement. Focus on the progress you did make and how you can take the strengths from that into the ‘improvement cycle’.

What might some of your one percenters be?

Leave a Comment
Privacy | GDPR Requirements |