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The playlist in your head: friend or foe?

 

Image source: iStock
Image source: iStock {peolsen}

 

 What songs are you playing in your head?

A client complains.

Your boss highlights an error you made. (been there with a boss who made a meal of my error).

You post a comment in one of your Facebook groups and only get one like compared to the average 20 likes everyone else gets-(and it is a group where you see who has seen your post and many of your ‘supposed’ supportive friends have ‘seen it’ and not put an encouraging comment or like.)

You show up to a social event in jeans and find everyone else is dressed like they are in a fashion show. (This happened to me recently!)

You send a newsletter and find an error after it has been sent – even though you did your OCD proofreading before. (YUP done that, as many of you would know!)

You walk into work’s Friday night drinks. It ‘s your first one as the new contract worker. Everyone just looks at you as you walk into the room. No  one says anything and they just go back to their conversation. No one asks how you are settling in or even attempts to start conversation with you. (Been there once)

You get a project or workshop evaluation and you get 30 5/5 and one 2/5. And spend the rest of the day focusing on the 2/5.

When things like this happen to you, what does the voice in your head say? For many of us it is things like:

  • I’m so embarrassed, this makes me look like such a complete incompetent. I’ll probably never get a promotion.
  • What a loser I am. Everyone likes everyone else and of course, they don’t like me–why would they?
  • Why is it that I ALWAYS am the one making these mistakes? How did everyone else know what to wear?
  • Oh that one typo will kill my business and my reputation forever.
  • I’ll never fit in here. I guess I’m just a social misfit.
  • A 2! I never get a 2! Maybe I should just give up doing this kind of work.

Many of these responses are somewhat exaggerated, but give an idea of the self talk that automatically plays in our head in these situations.

And most times they are thoughts not truth.

You create your own themed playlists of songs.

You go through life with a constant self talk streaming through your mind. Just like an iPod playlist! And the thoughts usually trigger emotions that either undermine you or elevate you.

The negative songs (thoughts) usually relate to your coded subconscious beliefs about

  • not being good enough
  • not loving ourselves enough
  • fear of not belonging
  • fear of failing-that is usually more of a fear about what people will think than the fear itself
  • fear of criticism
  • fear of making a lot of money -even though on the conscious level that is our aim
  • fear of showing our true selves.

Sometimes the playlists (thoughts) are triggered by a situation or experience.

Other times they’re the playlist on repeat that fills your head all day long with self talk ‘songs’  about your worth, your value, if you are liked, your progress, your possibilities and your potential for success.

The power of your thoughts

Your thoughts impact your health right down to the cellular level.

Pretty sobering truth.

And if that wasn’t enough, your thoughts also create your experiences, your relationships, your wellbeing and your successes.

In other words, your ability to manifest your desires.

To manifest the life you want you must create self talk playlists of  gratitude, love, forgiveness, belief in receiving your desires and self acceptance-and put them on repeat so they are continually going through your mind. Sometimes easier said than done!

Change your story

How do you do that? Change your story and your explanation and interpretation of events.

Let’s look at how some of the responses I mentioned earlier can be converted to constructive, health creating self talk.

  • I’m so embarrassed, this makes me look like such a complete incompetent.
    • It is just this situation-and just one error. I am a competent person. I can learn from this and improve in this area. I have control.
  • What a loser I am. Everyone likes everyone else and of course, they don’t like me–why would they?
    • I don’t comment or press like on a lot of Facebook posts, but quietly celebrate and send love to all the people whose successes and challenges I read about. That is probably true of others. Facebook is no high school. I’ll focus on giving instead of receiving.
  • Why is it that I ALWAYS am the one making these mistakes? How did everyone else know what to wear?
    • I made the decision based on the information I had. And it was a logical one. Wearning jeans among fashionistas does not change who I am as a person and if I focus my conversation on others, the jeans will not even matter. (probably would not matter anyway).
  • Oh that one typo will kill my business and my reputation forever.
    • Pedantic Penny will see it as a fatal mistake, but most people can relate to it because they have done it themselves and know it is far from a fatal error, move on and connect with the message not the typo!
  • I’ll never fit in here. I guess I’m just a social misfit.
    • Everyone wants to fit in. I can change this experience by initiating contact with my new colleagues and finding out more about their work. (I did this and became known as one of the most liked contract workers. The outcome could have been very different if I gave into my insecurities.)
  • A 2! I never get a 2! Maybe I should just give up doing this kind of work.
    • If it is truth, take it on board. Don’t take it personally.  If not, see it as a success that you are demonstrating you can’t please everyone.

This will not be a perfect journey and you will  have times when the negative play list comes back with a list of songs that bring you down. That is normal! As you become more aware of it, you will change the playlist more quickly.

 What we focus on expands.

Positive thoughts expand your energetic field, increase your immunity, increase your mental and emotional wellbeing and expand your ability to create success and receive abundance. This is not just airy fairy stuff. There is serious science behind this.

What are some examples of new songs to add to your playlists?

If  you regularly play these thoughts you’ll  forge new neural pathways that will scan your  environment to notice and absorb more positive things than negative things.

Make Thank You your continued mantra for a few days a week

Spend a day or two where you are constantly in you head saying ‘thank you’. Go on a binge of appreciation and try to find as many things in the day as possible that you can say thank you for and really put emotions into those thank yous.

 When something negative happens or you have a setback, train yourself to think something like:

  • All is well, everything in this situation is working out for my highest good. Only good can come from this experience. I am safe. (Louise Hay)
  • I always do the best with the information and experience I’ve had. I learn from my mistakes and have the power to improve them.
  • What other’s think of me is none of my business. People’s unhelpful negative reactions, competitiveness or hostility comes from their own places of insecurity and fear. I send them healing energetic vibrations (through my thoughts) of love and acceptance.
  • One, three or five years from now, it is very likely this incident won’t even matter to me.
  • It’s not the mistakes I make that matter…it is what I do afterwards.

What about you? What self talk helps you? And what hinders you?

How can you change your story to further create more wellbeing, abundance and fun?

And…

You may find it interesting to watch the video I recorded

Resilience: How do you explain negative events to yourself?

Published inCreate Your Abundant Life

2 Comments

  1. Thanks Linda, i often have a playlist that is a default and when i think closely and am conscious of that playlist i can analyse and defuse but sometimes in the moment i find that hard to do!

    • Linda Chaousis Linda Chaousis

      yeah, I so agree Belinda. In the moment is hard for sure!

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