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Linda Chaousis Posts

Visualising vs taking action: how do you choose?

 

Action with Visualisation

Many people ask me about the contrasts between believing something, visualising it and then actually doing something about that thing. They wonder, are you actually supposed to do something or do you just wait for it to happen of its own accord?

I think you need to do a bit of both. You need to believe and then you need to take inspired action.

Believing in Visualisation

There’s certainly a lot of science now, either neuroscience, metaphysics, quantum physics or psychology, which demonstrate that when we repeatedly think a thought and when we put belief and emotion into it, then we actually do start attracting what we want into our life.

It’s about repeating a thought. So if you’re thinking a negative thought, such as, ‘Oh the house is going to burn down,’ that doesn’t mean that the house is suddenly going to catch on fire. However, if you keep repeating that thought and you keep thinking it consistently, you start to believe it, and then it might just happen anyway. It’s the same with the positive things. If you keep on believing in them and you know that you’re always thinking about them, then there’s a greater chance that they might actually happen.

That’s the most important part of it. Visualising is believing. Part of that is knowing that you sometimes visualise things that are not within your realm of possibility at the moment. It might be something that has to happen from other resources that have to come your way from things you could not have orchestrated.

However, I really believe that you were put here to co-create with the universe or with God or whatever you want to call it. We’ve been given skills and passions that we were put here to use and to express as our gift to the world. To use those passions and gifts, we feel fulfilled, so things will come full circle. We feel fulfilled because we’re helping other people. We’re serving other people and we’re encouraging them and it all just kind of wraps together in one beautiful picture.

Putting Your Need to Co-Create Out There

The first part is to think about what it is that you love to do. The whole idea about co-creating is that sometimes people say, ‘I put it out there, so now I’ve just sat back in my lounge or sofa and I’m just waiting for the doorbell to ring and it will come my way.’

Sometimes that might happen, but generally we’re given ideas and thoughts to proceed with and then we take that inspired action, which is to use our gifts and our skills. One of the best examples of the difference between thinking and acting and how you’ve got to do both, is plants. There are people who grow plants that will often say to you that if you talk to plants that will help them grow.

Making Things Thrive Through Intention and Action

When I was growing up my mother always used to talk to her plants and they would thrive. Now there’s even some scientific evidence of that. When energy is put towards an object – in particular there’s been some research done on fauna with this concept – if the energy is positive then it will help it to thrive and grow. If you believe in that, then the thinking and visualising process is the part of talking to plants positively, with encouragement, touching them and telling them that you want them to grow. It sounds crazy, but a lot of people who I know say it works. But that’s just one part of it. If you only do that and don’t water and feed the plants, then they’re still not going to thrive, as they’re not going to have the life sustaining part of the equation.

By the same token if you just water and feed the plant, it might grow and it might thrive, but if you do the talking to it then you’re actually bringing a new dimension to it. Therefore it’s important to take action, as well as your words, and your thoughts, beliefs and your emotions aligned. But they should be combined and if it’s starting to feel hard, and if it’s starting to feel like a slog, then really revisit that. Your emotions are a good feedback mechanism and if it consistently doesn’t feel right, if it feels stressed, if it feels too pressured and it just doesn’t seem like you’re moving forward, then really re-evaluate what you are doing, because it may mean that it’s time to actually take a different path and a different road.

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Think it, believe it, feel it and then also take that inspired action. Know that what you think, believe and feel, does not have to be just what’s in your realm of possibility and in your world. As you think it and as you believe it, resources and opportunities will come your way that you could never, ever have brought into existence by yourself.

What has your experience been?

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SMART goals may not be so smart

Most of us have heard of SMART goals. There are a few combinations of what the letters represent and the one I’m using is below:

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Realistic

Time referenced

It is good to have them specific and measurable, but achievable, realistic and possibly time referenced can limit your ability to soar to the heights of experience, goals and aspirations you desire.

In the short video below, I explain why. Click on the image to watch it.

smart goals

 

Dream big. Dig down to understand what lights you up. What you really desire. And then set those goals, aligning your thoughts, beliefs emotions and actions to see them come to life!

And…..don’t forget..HAVE FUN!

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Valentine’s Day celebration with a twist!

 

I often talk about the fact that what you focus on expands. And I’ve experienced this over and over again. Sometimes in good ways. Sometimes in not so good ways–depending upon what I’m focusing on!

Since Valentine’s Day is a few days away I thought it was the perfect time to share with you a practice I have that is super effective. Especially when:

I’ve been let down

I’m angry at someone

I’m discouraged about money, weight, business, work, you name it

And that practice is to focus on all the things I love. Love is one of the strongest foundations of attracting the life you desire. The more you give out love, the more it expands and brings situations to you that make you feel loved or bring to you people and things to love. Sometimes in those down moments-which we know if we stay in will expand- it is hard to love the person who wronged me, or move up the emotional ladder to ‘happy’ and ‘joy’ over the disappointment in a big job not renewed because of a change of direction or the grief over a young friend struggling with a debilitating illness. Moving up the emotional ladder is not suppressing or trivialising any of those things–it’s moving us into a positive emotional (resilient) state as we address those situations and/or support those who are struggling.

So I focus on what (and who) I love.  My daughters who are kind, generous young women pursuing their dreams. Their wonderful partners–oh what a blessing those two amazing young men are. My husband who is so supportive of all my wild and crazy ventures. My dogs who are such good companions. My tree lined neighbourhood. My house that feels so cozy to us with lots of places to retreat to. My work with University students who are amazing young people. Friday nights at home in the winter relaxing in the warmth after a busy week. The vegan carrot cake cupcake at our local bakery. The life and business transformation my kinesiologist Kerry Rowett has given me. My bed which is so comfortable and means I’m not sleeping on a bench somewhere in the cold but am warm in my own house–sending a prayer to those who are fighting the elements. Running water that I can freely drink from the tap and know is always available for a shower–after a week in a developing country I fully say thank you for this most days. Catch ups with friends who encourage me, make me laugh and who inspire me in so many ways.

As you can see the list could go on and on. And just writing this and remembering those things raised my emotions to a higher level.

So my Valentine’s Day challenge (which I will do as well) is:

On February 14 spend the whole day just noticing the big and little things you love in your life. Maybe write some of them down. Or type them into the notes app on your phone.

And when you look at them or think of them, just hold space for them for a few moments, feeling the emotions of the love for whatever it is you are picturing. Take note of how it expands your positive emotions and be on the lookout for more things to come to you to love. Remember you are a magnet that attracts back to you what you send out-the more you send out, the bigger the magnet is. You may decide that this might be a good habit to adopt maybe one day a week!

And if you want to take it to the next level, write someone a note, or tell them in person how much you appreciate them and love what they’ve done to enrich your life.

Love is the most powerful and still the most unknown energy in the world”.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

 

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Ditch the four letter ‘f’ word that can hold you back big time

Now that the new year is well underway, it’s easy to get a bit wobbly about some of your resolutions or goals.

Or just lose that firm resolve that was so strong January 1st.

There are a number of reasons for this but I want to focus this email on just one.

And it’s a biggie.

It’s a four letter F word but not the one that probably first came to mind. It is…………..

                          

 

Those whispers that create doubt

You may really want to achieve something, look forward to it, love the thought of it and really picture it in your mind. BUT if you have programmed beliefs that whisper in your ear

  • ‘What if no one likes what you do?’
  • ‘You’re dreaming if you think your business or career will reach that level.’
  • ‘What if you look silly, stupid, incompetent?’
  • ‘What if you can’t handle going to the next level?’
  • ‘What if you fail?’
  • ‘Are you crazy? What makes you think THAT is possible for you?’
  • ‘What if you lose friends because they don’t like the new, confident, successful, prosperous {insert any word} you and you no longer play the role in their lives that they enjoyed to make them feel good.’

it could hold you back and keep you from taking a step into the next personal or professional thing that will bring you joy, fulfilment and success.

I almost gave in to fear at the end of January

I love to dance.

Always have.

For over 20 years, I’ve wanted to take tap dancing classes. And that’s just the start. I always pictured myself being part of a dance troupe in a local play production. When I’m dancing, I feel free, in the flow and just caught up in the moment.  Jim and I have gone to events where we are on the dance floor most of the night. Not necessarily good dancers, but having a great time and just loving the music.

In December I finally took action and signed up for January tap dancing classes. The instructions were to wear leather soled shoes or tap shoes. I had neither so figured I’d get tap shoes even though I was just beginning.

I was so excited for the weeks leading up to it. Finally after 20 years of wishing, I’m doing it!

Then the day before the first class came. Fear started to whisper in my ear:

‘What if you are the only one with tap shoes and you look like such a ‘try-hard’ wearing them as a beginner?’

‘What if you are the fattest one in the class and they all are skinny dancers?’

‘What if you are the oldest one in the class and they all wonder what the hell you are doing there?’

‘What if you can’t learn the steps?’

Those whispers made me start to be a bit anxious about a class I had been really looking forward to. I woke up the next morning having slept oddly so I had a sore calf muscle and had a vague sense of dread. I knew this was all part of the challenge to overcome my fears. I had the perfect excuse to stay home–but I knew it would be a mistake.

I was not going to miss the first class because of the sore muscle.

I was no longer going to let fear be my guide and hold me back.

Thoughts vs truth. Thoughts of fear are usually not grounded in truth. One acronym for FEAR is:

FalseEvidenceAppearing asReal

One by one, I shot arrows of truth through those fears that were just thoughts.

‘Who cares if I am the only one with tap shoes? I’ll LOVE it and have fun.’

‘It is a beginner’s class so it is very unlikely to be filled with skinny dancers. More likely to be community people just like me.’

‘One of my passions in life is to encourage young people and I have such great relationships with so many teens and people in their 20’s that it hardly would be an issue if I was the oldest one there.’

As I walked up the steps to the class, I held those truths in my mind.

And the class was fun people of all sizes and ages. Everyone had tap shoes-many had brand new ones like I did. And we all laughed our way through our mistakes.

Thank goodness I just pushed through my fears and my sore muscle and did not miss out on what has turned out to be one of the highlights of my year so far!

When you fear something it is usually your subconscious trying to keep you safe—playing small and playing to the limiting beliefs that have been programmed in to you. You need to re-program your subconscious to match your current pathway.

Fear whispering in your ear? Maybe try one of these.

Some of the things I do to break through fear are:

  1. Ask myself what is the worst thing that would happen? If it does, will it matter a year from now? (usually the answer is no.)
  2. Actually say to the fear ‘thank you for trying to keep me safe, but that thought is not longer of use to me.’ Sounds a bit kooky but it can start to get your brain thinking that there might be other ways of looking at the situation.
  3. Run it by a trusted friend and confidante to see if I really am exposing myself to unnecessary risks because of something I’m overlooking.
  4. Put a plan (usually it is a mindset one) in place to manage any situations that arise that do make my fears come true.
  5. Remember what I focus on expands. The more I think fearful thoughts I attract more situations to fear. I create affirmations that reinforce the positive outcome I want and the more I say them the more energy and momentum will be put behind the thought to create exactly the outcome (or something better) that I am looking for.

You were placed here for a special purpose with unique skills to achieve it in a way that only you can. Don’t let fear rob you of living your best and fullest life!

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Don’t miss the dream you’re already living


disneyland-226725_1280

Recently I had a few ‘aha’ moments – well actually more like face palm moments.

You know those times when you slap your hand on your forehead and say ‘how did I miss that one?’

THE DREAMS I’VE REALISED

Like most of you I have dreams and goals I’m working toward. And when I’m focussed, I use the usual practices that have seen me manifest hundreds of thousands of dollars-from unexpected places, 7 return international Business Class flights, my dream assignment in Qatar, a holiday in a million dollar beach house that was on my vision board, and much more.

I know the thrill of leaving the how to the Universe.

The after-glow of wow I never imagined it would be THAT good.

Surprises that come when I’m flowing in gratitude, positive emotions and unwavering belief in what is to come- while fully basking in appreciation of what I currently have.

My face palm moment reminded me that I had forgotten an important principle:

Look for what’s happening right now that are glimpses of what living the full-on dream will be like.
Where are parts of my dream already showing up?
What I focus on expands. Focus on the small pieces of my dream that are showing up and I expand those small pieces.

 

MY NEXT DREAM

My dream for my one year old business is to be location independent.
I want to run my business on my iPad or laptop from anywhere I choose.

I have such a passion to help people start living the life they want. Share my secrets for attracting opportunities, experiences, finances, relationships and more that come to me by applying the Law of Attraction (backed by neuroscience, quantum physics and psychology).

I have a picture in my mind of a schedule with blocks of time during the ‘work’ week for freedom to just have fun, coffee with friends and enjoying life-while my business grows.

I’m still very much in start up phase with a modest but growing five figure annual income that mostly goes back into the business.

 

MY DREAM SHOWED UP IN SMALL SLICES AND I TREATED IT LIKE A DRESS REHEARSAL

In August I had two working holidays-both that I manifested through means other than my business. One in Cairns in that million dollar beach house I mentioned earlier and one in Melbourne in a five star two bedroom two bath apartment in Docklands. Both were awesome locations and places to spend some special time with my daughters, meet some amazing Facebook contacts face to face and run my business from both locations. In Cairns, I posted a photo of my computer at a table looking out to the beach and labelled it ‘practicing geographical independence’.

And then it it hit me.

PRACTICING?

I’m not practicing it, I’m living it!

I manifested the holiday at that million dollar beach house with money that showed up in the most surprising way. I am location independent! It is not a dress rehearsal. I need to step into the identity, joy, freedom and gratitude of experiencing it.Today was a beautiful warm spring day. As I drove home from a relaxing, energy-raising coffee with a friend, I thought ‘oh, won’t it be nice when I have the freedom to set my own schedule and have social times in the midst of my working week like today’.

 

And again, it hit me (I must be a slow learner!)

 

WAIT A MINUTE- I AM LIVING IT NOW!!

And suddenly my energy shifted to realising the dream was showing up in small ways and it was not a dress rehearsal but the beginning of the path I desired. I need to shift from someday it will come to it’s here now and fully live it regardless of how small the piece of the dream is at the moment.I made the mistake of thinking that the geographical independence and social times during ‘traditional work hours’ would only be real when I was financially independent with a multiple six figure income from my business.
I totally ignored the way the dream was already showing up.
Once again I was reminded that a multiple six figure income from my business is only one of a multitude of ways the Universe can provide the dreams and goals I’ve set in motion. I was actually dictating the how by believing my business income was the only way my dream could be funded.When I posted my working photo from the Melbourne apartment I took out the word ‘practicing’ and just stepped into living it. And what a thrill that was!
OUR THOUGHTS VIBRATE ON A FREQUENCY THAT RETURNS TO US WHAT WE SEND OUT
We are vibrational beings-made up of a gazillion vibrating particles- and our thoughts and emotions go out into the world as energy on various frequencies. Our thoughts are like the waves finding the radio station to match their frequency. Our emotions are like the antenna that stabilises and strengthens the transmission. The more we appreciate what we have the more we attract what we desire. Good thoughts, good music. Bad thoughts bad music!

A satellite dish above the city

Positive emotions like gratitude, love, etc. vibrate at a faster and higher frequency. They’re what’s required to dial in to the frequency that will dispatch to us what we desire-or something even better.It was an important reminder to me to recognise what was already in my life that made me feel the same way I will when I reach the next step of my dream. The more I hold space for those feelings the greater the increase in situations to further match those feelings.

DOING SMALL THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL PROSPEROUS
Being free of gardening and housework are at the top of the list of my ‘visualised lifestyle’ and I realised I don’t have to be at the multiple six figure income level to start living that way. A cleaner one hour a week and a gardener one hour a week will relieve me of some of those tasks, enhance my feeling of abundance and be well within my budget. It won’t be the 4-5 hours I’m aiming for, but it is a start and as I get into the feeling of prosperity by having a one hour a week cleaner and gardener it will attract more of that kind of help.So I turn it over to you.What small slices of your dream are showing up?What in your life right now is giving you a taste of the things you desire and are working toward?Stop and really hold the feeling of their presence.Be a detective and look for more of those small slices. They aren’t the whole cake. But they are made of the same ingredients so can give you a taste of what is to come. YUM!
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Ignore the nudge from within and you may miss out!


Ever regret not listening to your gut?

You have a passing thought of an idea or action you could take.

Or you hear yourself say, ‘Someone should create a product or service that fills this gap.’ And then wonder if you could be that someone.

And there you stand at the crossroad.

One voice says ‘Give it a go, you’ll never know unless you try.’

And then the other voice interrupts the first voice with:

Are you kidding?

You really need to think that through.

Get more training.

It’s gotta be perfect before you’d release it to the world.

It could take months or years to get it right.

Well, in recent times, I’ve recognised that second voice as my subconscious trying to keep me safe by playing small and sticking to what I’ve always done or known to be a sure thing.

And it feeds nicely into three bad habits of mine:

All or nothing thinking-it’s got to be fully planned and perfect before I put it out there. Make one mistake and scrap the whole thing and start over. Similar to eating one chocolate chip cookie and then finishing the whole pack because I felt I blew my eating plan by that one cookie so I may as well write off the rest of the day. Flawed logic and self sabotage rolled into one!

Fear-oh this has so many faces. What if I fail? What will people think? Will people disapprove? Live a vanilla life and you dodge those fears and are destined to mediocrity. Seize the moment and you’ll find most fears were unfounded and the fears that weren’t are well outstripped by the passion and excitement of taking the next step. The naysayers will drop off and create room for new raving fans.

Overthinking– this is a combination of the other two. Thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Or thinking about every finite detail that would have to be worked out before you proceed. Both mindsets are a fast track to doing nothing. Sometimes followed by that painful regret of watching someone else who had the courage to act on the very idea you had enjoy great success and support as they followed it through.

That small voice, spark or nudge is often what we refer to as our intuition or inner guidance. In our professional lives, we’re often trained not to trust our gut or refer to intuition. Yet, in many cases following through on that spark of an idea can lead to your next success breakthrough. Recent research found that when senior managers were asked what factors went into some of the major decisions they made, they listed all the usual criteria and many added at the end ‘oh and also a bit of a sixth sense.’

I’m now acting on it and wow have things changed

I have now developed the habit of acting as soon as I get that spark or gut instinct of an idea. Here’s an example of one of the many things I’ve recently followed through on when the nudge of an idea came to me–and the results have been amazing:

Four months ago, I had the tiny spark of an idea to host monthly Law of Attraction Coffee meet ups to create an opportunity for people to come and share their abundance journeys and ask questions. In the past I would have over-thought it. Those coffee meet ups would still be on my list of possible events as I obsessed over every detail that I’d have to get perfect before proceeding while ruminating over every possible problem that could occur. But this time, I acted on the nudge the week the idea came to me. I announced the meet ups and established a schedule until the end of the year. These gatherings have been fabulous with different combinations of awesome people coming each time. I leave each coffee inspired, encouraged and so thrilled to have found so many like-minded people to exchange ideas with. On September 17th, I will host my fourth LOA Coffee meet up! And some interstate people have asked me if I’d consider taking them ‘on the road’.

The Institute of Heart Math regularly reports on ground breaking research about the mind-body-brain-heart connection. Click on the link to Read their recent article 5 Ways to hone your intuition and sixth sense.

Act on those sparks in the next few weeks!

For the next two weeks pay attention to the nudges, the small whispers of ideas and the brief sparks that come to mind. Write them down and start taking small steps toward acting on the ones that resonate most with you.

Don’t fall into my three mindset traps!

Put yourself out there.

Ask for help.

Be open to a change of direction and be glad you got out there on the court to play the game-even if you are ‘coached’ to change your game plan.

The divine source that some call the Universe and others refer to as God can not steer a harboured ship. Leave the dock (take action) and continue to listen to and act on the guidance from that inner guidance.

And be prepared for some pleasant surprises!

 

 

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Choose your words-choose your life

H Ford

Our words have energy that returns to us experiences that mirror what we say.

If I chime in with a group of friends ridiculing a random person in a mall as they walk by, my brain first thinks I am saying that about myself. And guess what? It doesn’t end there. My ridicule of someone is usually followed by a situation where I feel ridiculed.

If I think I’ll never succeed, won’t be as successful as others, will never lose the  excess weight, will never achieve the lifestyle in my business I’m aiming for etc, my subconscious will work hard to make sure those things become experience.

There is an easy filter to test if I am creating positive or negative experiences in my life.

After everything I say or think–finish every sentence (at least in my head) with and so it is.  And like a genie who says ‘your wish is my command’, life will go find the experiences that match those words.

I’ve started to use this filter with more concentration and it’s interesting how many throw away unhelpful phrases go through my head. They just send the energy genie out to call that truth into my life.  

Positive energy moves faster than negative energy so there is a time gap between the words and the experience. Phew! That’s good because it means you and I can change the unhelpful scripts to helpful ones as soon as we become aware of them.

Change my words, change my life.

If there’s a phrase or belief on repeat that keeps going through my head, I know that’s a particular string of words I need to change. For more on the playlist in your head, read my recent blog post: The playlist in your head: friend or foe?.

Give the and so it is test a try! For the next week ask yourself with any thought, word or belief that comes to your mind ‘Do I  really want the Universe to stand there with an order pad like a waiter in a restaurant and say, ‘And so it is, let me go get it now.’ Or do I want to say ‘Wait a minute, I’ve changed my mind, here’s my new order.’

Choose your words (that create your thoughts, beliefs and actions)- choose your life.

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There is always hope-sometimes you just have to look harder for it

 

Photo credit-iStock
Photo credit-iStock by og-vision

A plane goes down.

A war escalates.

Floods or fires destroy whole communities.

Even if -like me- you aren’t an avid consumer of the news on commercial TV, most likely images, headlines and conversations about these events will cross your path somehow and some way. I hardly watched any of the news reports about the recent MH17 disaster and still know more details than one would expect.

I know in my heart of hearts what we focus our thoughts, beliefs and emotions on expands and comes back to us individually and collectively.

But what does the mean for how I respond to situations like the recent tragedies with both Malaysian Airlines flights?

  • How do I respond to this with a sense of hope without seeming callous or insensitive?
  • How do I show compassion for those who lost their lives and those who are left behind without becoming so consumed with it that I miss the precious passing moments with my beloved family and amazing group of friends and fellow entrepreneurs?
  • How do I  focus my thoughts to expand the positive energy rather than expand and attract more fear, anger and grief?

As I wrestled with these important questions I was reminded of three positive steps to take while keeping those touched by tragedies in our hearts.

Look for the helpers

Dr Fred Rogers who had a children’s show called Mr Roger’s neighborhood said:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.  Just on the sidelines. ‘ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers–so many caring people in this world.” (From The World According to Mister Rogers (Kindle Locations 645-647).

If you look for the helpers (journalists reporting sensitively, prayer vigils by strangers for strangers, rescuers and many more) you will find hope. As you increase your thoughts of hope you find more and more examples of hope in the midst of tragedy and  reminders of all the good that there is in the world.

 

 Pay attention to and express gratitude for the ordinary things of life.

When my girls were  growing up, I’d often say:

‘Appreciate the everyday things because life as we know it can change in an instant’.

In 2011 after the floods in Queensland and the earthquakes in Japan and New Zealand,  I wrote this reflection:

Tonight as I sat at Moseely Square (in Glenelg, South Australia), looking across to CIBO, McDonalds and the Dublin Pub, I marvelled at how our routines and lives were still intact. I tried to imagine what it would be like if Glenelg and so many of our neighbourhoods had been decimated by flood or earthquake. And as we yearned to return to normal, we’d find ‘normal’ had been totally wiped out and we were just left with rubble, dirt and many lost friends, family and colleagues. I have a renewed sense of appreciation for the fact that I still have access to my routine, my neighbourhood, friends and ‘life as I know it’. Somehow traffic, people who undermine me, and work pressure seem less bothersome and more cause for giving thanks.

Gratitude has been proven to enhance our immune system, push us up the emotional scale to positive emotions, relieve some forms of depression and expands to attract to us more things to be grateful for. Gratitude breeds hope.

 

Balance grief and empathy with presence

As a mother of two daughters who often travel internationally I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for those parents who said ‘Good bye, have a great trip,’ to their young adults on their way to adventure-to find hours later their cherished children would never share another birthday, phone call or conversation with them.

As a person who prays, I pray for the families-parents who’ve lost children, children who’ve lost parents and grandparents, aunties, uncles and treasured friends who will never return.

That others come into their lives to help them navigate this awful time and situations that bring rays of light into their darkened lives. worry

Pre-occupation with worry and grief  for those families is no help to them at all. It won’t bring back their loved ones either.

Worrying about the next international flights my daughters will take will only send out energy of fear that will return to me more things to be fearful about.

For me this was a good reminder to be fully present with all of the people, situations (including work) and abundance in my life.

Appreciate them.

Put the phone away when I’m talking to them.

Really listen.

Do what I can to love, support and encourage them.

Put my energy in to love and gratitude instead of (usually unfounded) fear.

Plan like you have 100 years left, live like you have a day left.

As Bon Jovi says ‘I want to LIVE while I’m alive’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The playlist in your head: friend or foe?

 

Image source: iStock
Image source: iStock {peolsen}

 

 What songs are you playing in your head?

A client complains.

Your boss highlights an error you made. (been there with a boss who made a meal of my error).

You post a comment in one of your Facebook groups and only get one like compared to the average 20 likes everyone else gets-(and it is a group where you see who has seen your post and many of your ‘supposed’ supportive friends have ‘seen it’ and not put an encouraging comment or like.)

You show up to a social event in jeans and find everyone else is dressed like they are in a fashion show. (This happened to me recently!)

You send a newsletter and find an error after it has been sent – even though you did your OCD proofreading before. (YUP done that, as many of you would know!)

You walk into work’s Friday night drinks. It ‘s your first one as the new contract worker. Everyone just looks at you as you walk into the room. No  one says anything and they just go back to their conversation. No one asks how you are settling in or even attempts to start conversation with you. (Been there once)

You get a project or workshop evaluation and you get 30 5/5 and one 2/5. And spend the rest of the day focusing on the 2/5.

When things like this happen to you, what does the voice in your head say? For many of us it is things like:

  • I’m so embarrassed, this makes me look like such a complete incompetent. I’ll probably never get a promotion.
  • What a loser I am. Everyone likes everyone else and of course, they don’t like me–why would they?
  • Why is it that I ALWAYS am the one making these mistakes? How did everyone else know what to wear?
  • Oh that one typo will kill my business and my reputation forever.
  • I’ll never fit in here. I guess I’m just a social misfit.
  • A 2! I never get a 2! Maybe I should just give up doing this kind of work.

Many of these responses are somewhat exaggerated, but give an idea of the self talk that automatically plays in our head in these situations.

And most times they are thoughts not truth.

You create your own themed playlists of songs.

You go through life with a constant self talk streaming through your mind. Just like an iPod playlist! And the thoughts usually trigger emotions that either undermine you or elevate you.

The negative songs (thoughts) usually relate to your coded subconscious beliefs about

  • not being good enough
  • not loving ourselves enough
  • fear of not belonging
  • fear of failing-that is usually more of a fear about what people will think than the fear itself
  • fear of criticism
  • fear of making a lot of money -even though on the conscious level that is our aim
  • fear of showing our true selves.

Sometimes the playlists (thoughts) are triggered by a situation or experience.

Other times they’re the playlist on repeat that fills your head all day long with self talk ‘songs’  about your worth, your value, if you are liked, your progress, your possibilities and your potential for success.

The power of your thoughts

Your thoughts impact your health right down to the cellular level.

Pretty sobering truth.

And if that wasn’t enough, your thoughts also create your experiences, your relationships, your wellbeing and your successes.

In other words, your ability to manifest your desires.

To manifest the life you want you must create self talk playlists of  gratitude, love, forgiveness, belief in receiving your desires and self acceptance-and put them on repeat so they are continually going through your mind. Sometimes easier said than done!

Change your story

How do you do that? Change your story and your explanation and interpretation of events.

Let’s look at how some of the responses I mentioned earlier can be converted to constructive, health creating self talk.

  • I’m so embarrassed, this makes me look like such a complete incompetent.
    • It is just this situation-and just one error. I am a competent person. I can learn from this and improve in this area. I have control.
  • What a loser I am. Everyone likes everyone else and of course, they don’t like me–why would they?
    • I don’t comment or press like on a lot of Facebook posts, but quietly celebrate and send love to all the people whose successes and challenges I read about. That is probably true of others. Facebook is no high school. I’ll focus on giving instead of receiving.
  • Why is it that I ALWAYS am the one making these mistakes? How did everyone else know what to wear?
    • I made the decision based on the information I had. And it was a logical one. Wearning jeans among fashionistas does not change who I am as a person and if I focus my conversation on others, the jeans will not even matter. (probably would not matter anyway).
  • Oh that one typo will kill my business and my reputation forever.
    • Pedantic Penny will see it as a fatal mistake, but most people can relate to it because they have done it themselves and know it is far from a fatal error, move on and connect with the message not the typo!
  • I’ll never fit in here. I guess I’m just a social misfit.
    • Everyone wants to fit in. I can change this experience by initiating contact with my new colleagues and finding out more about their work. (I did this and became known as one of the most liked contract workers. The outcome could have been very different if I gave into my insecurities.)
  • A 2! I never get a 2! Maybe I should just give up doing this kind of work.
    • If it is truth, take it on board. Don’t take it personally.  If not, see it as a success that you are demonstrating you can’t please everyone.

This will not be a perfect journey and you will  have times when the negative play list comes back with a list of songs that bring you down. That is normal! As you become more aware of it, you will change the playlist more quickly.

 What we focus on expands.

Positive thoughts expand your energetic field, increase your immunity, increase your mental and emotional wellbeing and expand your ability to create success and receive abundance. This is not just airy fairy stuff. There is serious science behind this.

What are some examples of new songs to add to your playlists?

If  you regularly play these thoughts you’ll  forge new neural pathways that will scan your  environment to notice and absorb more positive things than negative things.

Make Thank You your continued mantra for a few days a week

Spend a day or two where you are constantly in you head saying ‘thank you’. Go on a binge of appreciation and try to find as many things in the day as possible that you can say thank you for and really put emotions into those thank yous.

 When something negative happens or you have a setback, train yourself to think something like:

  • All is well, everything in this situation is working out for my highest good. Only good can come from this experience. I am safe. (Louise Hay)
  • I always do the best with the information and experience I’ve had. I learn from my mistakes and have the power to improve them.
  • What other’s think of me is none of my business. People’s unhelpful negative reactions, competitiveness or hostility comes from their own places of insecurity and fear. I send them healing energetic vibrations (through my thoughts) of love and acceptance.
  • One, three or five years from now, it is very likely this incident won’t even matter to me.
  • It’s not the mistakes I make that matter…it is what I do afterwards.

What about you? What self talk helps you? And what hinders you?

How can you change your story to further create more wellbeing, abundance and fun?

And…

You may find it interesting to watch the video I recorded

Resilience: How do you explain negative events to yourself?

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What? Gratitude for bills?

bills2There’s a lot written about gratitude.

Be grateful for

  • your health
  • your family
  • your job
  • your house
  • the little things in the day that brought you joy
  • the silver lining in those clouds-problems at work, relationship issues, money issues, health issues- you know the ones
  • bills

Wait a minute…

BILLS????

Yes! Bills.

You see, the more you express gratitude, the more abundance flows to you.

Gratitude attracts more of what you want.

Think about it.

Your mortgage, gas bill, electricity bill, water bill, internet, phone, car payment, rates and taxes, medical bills-and the list goes on. Take each one of those bills and spend a few minutes thinking about all that you get from that item or service.

Suddenly there seems like lots to be grateful for.

Recently I clipped the ‘to be paid’ bills together and planned to hang them on the wall by my desk. I hesitated wondering what kind of energy it would generate to have debt on the wall to the left of me. Then it hit me!

Write a note of gratitude and stick it on the bills to totally change the energy of that pile-and a reminder to me! As I pay each bill-even if it leaves little left over in the account- I say thank you for the service that I received from it and that we have the funds to pay for it.

That practice continues to result in unexpected money coming in, unexpected discounts and unexpected refunds. And as you can imagine, my mindset has gone from sometimes being stressed and worried about having enough to cover expenses to a relaxed sense of gratitude and assurance that the Universe is continually creating and has for all of us a life of abundance and prosperity as we align our thoughts and beliefs to our desired goals.

As I live within my means with gratitude, my money is definitely growing.

How about you? Why not give it a try? You might be surprised by the results.

 

 

 

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